Are you serious?
by Emma Jones 28
Summary: AU-ish Emma is busy preparing for Regina's wedding. Thus leaving Killian and Henry alone. Henry, being the believe he is, wants to find Killian some type of family. Because surely a three hundred year old pirate would have something that resembles family. (I'm using big Liam's name down here becuase little Liam doesn't have one. So no confusion this story contains little laim only


Off of the prompt "• Someone (Robin and Regina) are getting married, and Emma is busy with all the preparations, leaving Henry and Killian alone and bored. Chaos follows.

(No underworld happened it doesn't fit my plot. So to hell with Adam and Eddie's plot! PS Cora lives becuase i love that raging bitch.)

"Okay killian are you sure you'll be able to keep an eye on Henry?" Emma asks me and I nod

"I'll be perfectly fine love." I tell her drinking my brown liquid in a cup. I believe Emma calls it coffee.

"I know you will, but your still new to modern world. I mean you put foil in the microwave and set it on fire." She says looking over by the cooking box where you can still see where the wallpaper got burnt .

"The mircowhat?" I ask confused which makes Emma laugh

"you call it the flaming box. " She rolls her eyes. Even though I see a glint of amusement.

"Ohh right where did you send that away to anyways?" I ask flicking my wrist like she did when she did right before The flaming box disappeared

"KILLIAN WHAT PART OF YOU SAW NOTHING DID YOU NOT GET?" She yells and I let oout a deep chuckle

"Cora right?" I say knowing how Emma thinks.

"NOT A WORD." I nod and we both laugh. Sometimes I wish that woman took her damn dirt nap when Snow lit the blasted candle. That raging bitch hates everyone and the concept of everything, excpet that Emma and Regina are true love.

Her talking Phone churps and she checks it

"Regina is about to kill Mary Margaret. I need to go before the wedding turns to the bride spending the night in jail. She says quickly.

" HENRY! I'm leaving." The lad comes down the stairs.

"Mom why can't I come help with Moms wedding? I am the best man after all." He protests.

"No kid. your grandma took control. You know how your mom gets when grandma takes control. It's like the evil queen and bridezila had a baby. That baby is your mother." Emma says and henry laughs.

"I got the picture. So I'm staying with killian?" He asks and Emma nods. Henry gets a mysterious glint in her eyes

"Mom can I see you for a second?" He says puling Emma aside and whispers something to her.

"Yes please do But take pictures of his face!" I hear her whisper and the both chuckle. I think I'm in for a rude awakening

"Killian after mom leaves you want to watch a movie on the talking box?" Emma smiles at the way he adapts his words to my vocabulary.

"Aye lad of course." he smiles and gives his mom a quick hug.

She walks over to me.

"What ever he shows You don't let it affect your ego " well that's never a good sign. "Well love you both." She kisses me and I deepen it then she pulls back. "Later."

Emma's talking phone rings. I can hear Regina screaming

"Regina Keep your cool, I'm proofing there. You two be good. And dont make me come arrest you two, because henry even though your still a kid doesnt mean you can spend a night in jail. Well after the wedding becuase yeah your mom would kill me if she doesn't have her best man." With that she dissapered into a cloud of white smoke.

" well do you want to watch the movie? " Henry asks and I nod. He runs upstairs and comes back with something he's hiding behind his back.

~~we know what happens next ~~

"BLOODY HELL, IS THAT ME!" I yell looking at Henry and he takes a picture with his talking picture making phone. I calm myself. But wait Emma knew about this MY EGO HAS BEEN AFFECTED!

"I have never worn a hat like that in my life!" I think back and close my eyes I did a long time ago when I was lieutenant.

"What was that. You have haven't you!" He accuses Me and I try to protest but its no use. Time for a back story

"Aye I did long time ago.. I was lieutenant on the jewel of the realm, my brother and I wore similar hats to his. But not once did I wear a feather the size of my arm, and my hair has never been that long! AND I WAS NOT SCARED OF THE BLODDY CROCODILE!" I yell I could continue but I chose not to.

"Disney doesn't always get it right." Henry says turning off the demon box. " so i guess that's enough of that. "

I just realize something we have nothing else to do.

" would you like to go sailing on the jolly?" I ask resorting to the last of my power.

"Yeah let's go! I'll be lieutenant just like you were!" he says happily and I smile that's a first that anyone has ever wanted to be like me.

" I believe I still have my lieutenant hat if you would like to wear it." His eyes light up and nods eagerly. we head out the door..

It takes about ten minutes to get to the docks. We have to take a detour becuase of the wedding preparations going on and we don't want to be stopped for questioning.

We get there and henry goes right on up. He goes straight to the wheel whre I taught young bae to sail.

"Do you have any stories of sailing with my dad?" He asks out of the blue andi nod Many actually most I've never told. We had alot of adventures in the few months, most can't tell the boy about, both his mothers would kill me.

"Aye, have I told you any?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"Alright I'll tell you one just let me get the hat." I walk to the captains quarters and look around. It's been awhile since I've been in here. I usually end up staying at Emma's and besides the memories still haunt me down here. I glance over at the spot Liam died in.

"Killian you find it?", he yells and I look around and grab the old hat.

"aye." I go back to the deck.

"Here ya go my boy." I set it on his head like I used to and I never realize how much he looks like bae Did.

"So when I found your father it took a few days for him to even talk. Soon after that we bonded over our fathers being worthless -" maybe I shouldn't call his grandfather a bastard. "fathers."

"Not what you were going to say but continue.," little spitfire

"No it wasnt, but anyways. I taught your father to sail right here." I trace my finger over the P and S on the wheels stand.

"Why is it crossed out?"

"Well I traded your father for safe passage to the main islands so I crossed it out to try to forget.." I say and relized something. "Just like my father did when I was a child." My voices gets quieter as I go . " I traded bae like my father traded us." Henrys looking at me with great interest

"Your father traded you?" He asks with horror in his eyes. I can already tell that he has a big heart.

"Aye he traded my brother and I into slavery so he could mak e a clean get away."

"You have a brother?" Well looks likeIm telling my whole life story to him.

"I did. He died on our voyage to neverland. He was being to bloody daft and cut himself with dreamshade." I say and he hugs me. This 14 year old has more kindness in his heart then a 200 year old pirate does.

"Do you have any other family maybe someone who got swept up in the curse?" He ask and I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"I have another brother. He would be about 14 by now" (just go with it I've searched for an hour trying to figure out what his age would be so here's what I'm sticking to. Sorry continue with the story!)

"REALLY?!" He yells excitedly.

"why?" I ask and he gets that look in his eyes.

"That's not important right now. Okay killian I know you don't feel like you belong in storybrooke becuase your the only one in this town who doesn't have anyone. but we're going to fix that right here right now! It'll be called opperation anchor!" I have no idea what he's talking about but he seems excited and I'm not questioning it.

"So we need to go to the station." We run to the station avoiding the woods where the wedding is going to be.

Once we get there its empty and locked. Henry looks at myhook and then the lock. I break the lock easily and We go in Henry goes straight for the file boxes

"What's his name?" He asks and I think for a minute Oh were talking about my brother.

"Liam Jones, my father named him after myolder brother." He searches for at least twenty minutes. Is he really going to try to find my younger brother. I don't know how that will go. 'Hi I'm your brother, you dont know me but im the person who killed your father' i've only seen him once and that was right before I killed our father. So yeah that would go swimmingly

"Nothing.." He says disappointed and I feel a twinge of dissapionment too

"But don worry I'm not going to give up. We have until midnight until the wedding." He explains and I give him a look like he's crazy

"At midnight? Why."

" well you see today is the last day of the year. So when the clock strikes midnight it will be a new year. Mom has is planned to where when it turns midnight her and Robin have already said i do and kissed but then when the clock strikes midnight every couple kisses the person they came with. So like all the brides maids are going to stand by the person they're dancing with. Except me and belle. Shes standing by rumple and I'm going to... Never mind. it's supposed to be 'romantic'" he was and I nod even though half of it made no sense. But one thing did.

"Who are you going to kiss lad?" I ask elbowing him lightly.

"Violet sir morgans daughter. everyone in the whole town is coming and im ging to have it to where Violet sits in the front row and I'm going to run down and kiss her."

"In front of both of your mom's and her father? If I could have any help I would do it at the after party some where its quiet and no one can see you. Jut tell her that you wanted to do it at midnight but to may people watching. Then kiss her." I say and he nods his head and looks like he's taking mentel notes. "Also in your monkey suit you'll have a pine cone flower thing. So give that to her." I say and he nods

"Okay thanks for the tips, but we have to get going to my grandpa's., well I am." I look at him like he's daft.

"Your not going in there trust me I don't want to have to clean up my grandpa's blood today." I laugh hard at that! He knows I could kick that bastards arse any time.

"You know I think that my favorite thing you've ever said." He nods and we walk out the door and head to the demons lair. It doesn't take long at all.

"You stay here I'll be back.. Stay at the side of the shop. I don't want him seeing you." He says and I stop him.

"Lad you might want to take the hat off if you don't want him to know I'm with you." he takes it off and hands it to me.

"Nice catch." He goes in and doesn't come for a good half an hour. I just sit the with my back against the stone wall.

As soon as he comes outhe comes right tome.

" I found him!" He says excitedly.

"you Did?" I ask getting up and walking with him as far away from the demom shop the better.

"where is he?" I ask and he thinks hard for a minute .

"Did mom ever explain what foster care was?" He asks and a rock hits the bottom of my stomach. Emma explained it as hell, did I really put my little brother in whas compared to hell?.

"Yes she did, but I didn't realize that storybrooke had one."

"They Dont really, the nuns conducted something like an orphanage. It's like foster care but they can't be placed in different homes." Wow that sounds like hell. He's been in there for 8 years.

"Well let's go get him." He says like we're going to keep him.

" so we're just going to what keep him in your room and Hope that Emma doesn't notice anoher living being in our apartment?" I say and henry laughs at me .

"Killian he's apart of your family. And you're apart of our family so that makes him our family too." He says and I nod .

" I'm honored that you consider me family lad." He doesn't say anything just keeps moving. I hope he doesn't think im trying To replace Bae because its really far from it.

The trip to the 'orphanage' took a lot longer and it was a quiet trip. We had a close call with david who was coming out of games of thorns with bouquet of flowers with pinecones embedded in it. Regina made sure to have just enough of forest theme for Robin. not only that but we go chased by a pack of dog.

I'm left with my thoughts for awhile and they can't help but wander to when I plan on kissing Emma when the clock strikes midnight .

"Here we go." Henry says stopping at the porch. I go up an knock.

"May I help you?" Blue asks peeking her head through the door that's slightly ajar.

"I'm looking for a resident here."

"I'm sorry but we don't allow pirates around the children." She slams the door. I'm pissed looks like she could use a little lesson from good ole' lefty here. I think to myself but then henry comes up.

"Blues always been a snarky bitch." Henry says and I look at him shocked I have never heard Henry curse.

"Let's go to the window." He says and I feel like we're going to disobey Emma's wishes about not having to come And arrest us.

We walk around anyways and find an opened window. "Boost me up I'm going in." Henry says and I do he tucks and rolls inside. Ten minutes later I get ready to start climbing into the window but then a different window opens

"Found him!" Henry says

"So did I." Blue says and I close my eyes.

"Listen sister blue I don't know what going on. So can I go?" A voice says and it sounds just like older Liam

"Liam no. Henry explained that killian is your brother. Since you do have family in storybrooke I think we all need to come in and talk." I go in through the window and blue glares at mea

"I meant through the door. And also you're going straight to my office. I still don't trust you pirate." She says and I see Henry glare at her

"And how many times has killian saved you while you do what? NOTHING!" Henry snaps And Liam laughs and high fives Henry. He later explains that liam is in all henrys classes at school.

"Very well then, let's just figure out what we could do." We sit down In a very small room with a big desk that takes up half of the room.

"I want to stay with Killian, I remember papa talking about him, so if it's okay I want to stay with him." He seems very adamant about it and I don't blame him. This place is small and its loud.

"Hook, is that okay with you?" Blue ask and I nod

"Yes, I was actually going to talk to you aabout it before you shut the door in my face."

"Well I'll let you three get to know each other." blue leaves and its Just us three men.

"So henry your dad is killian and he's my Brother so that makes you my nephew?" Liam says and Henry nods .

"Also I'm not calling you uncle Liam while we're at school. Or at all for that matter." Henry says and they both laugh.

"So killian your dating the savior?" Laim says elbowing me and raising his eye brows like the Jones men do.

"Liam really are we going to do this?" I laugh and he nods

"Oh please shes hot!"

"We're still talking about my mom people, and your sorta sister in-law." Henry says and I turn red. He knows about that? And by that I mean liams ring in my jacket pocket thats been there since emma gave it back in Camelot

"Yeah I heard you While mom was sleeping." I flush even more red. aabout a week ago I was talking to Emma while she was sleeping trying out different ways to propose.

"Yes I'm planning to propose to Emma, now we have different manners to attend to. So Liam are you okay with you coming to stay with us?" I ask and he nods

"Please get me out of here , this place isn't magical sparkling unicorns like the enchanted forest ." I can tell I'm going to like this kid already

"Well this family is more then happy to take on another person in our family. They'll just be happy that killian found you." Henry sayso

"But there is one thing you should know about me Liam, a longtime ago I was a horrible man who did horrid things and-" I start and he puts his hand up to stop me.

"I know you were captain hook and I know the past version of yourself killed our father. But I had seven years to be angry and forgive you everyone deserves a second chance and I'm giving you one." He's going to fit right in with the second chance thing.

"My teacher taught me that awhile back." Liam says and Henry laughs

"Yeah that was my grandma. Don't worry we'll teach you the family tree soon.." Blue comes back.

"Are we ready to go? No paper work since we can't leave town I think I can trust you not to run off with him any time soon. Well not that I trust you, but I trust Emma." Henry rolls his eyes and blue glares at hiim but he just glares back.

"Yes were ready sister blue." Liam goes to get his things and blue sits uncomfortablely.

"Well if I could just get your cellphone number to check up on Liam every so ofter?"

"Cellwhat number?" I say and Henry laughs.

"Here give me some paper." Henry writes down a bunch of numbers and hands it to blue.

"Alright well I'll see you all at the wedding."

Liam comes back with a small bag.

"Let's go home." Liam says and the boys run Out the door. I think this is going to be a good arrangement. For both of them.

We get to the house and Liam and Henry goes in I follow them and liam is checking the place out.

" Liam if you go to the second floor there's a bedroom second door to the left. That'p can be your bedroom." He goes up there and Henry pulls me aside

"I have an idea to soften the blow with mom."

"How lad?"

"If we get a pet then Liam would seem like a walk in the park. " he says with big innocent eyes.

"Let's go to the shelter. And see what we can find. Liam would you like to get pick out a pet?!" He comes running down the stairs.

"Wait first you got me out of that hell hole, now you're letting me get a pet. You rock let's go." We go to he pet shelter and I'm soo tired of walking I really need my own moving insect (the bug).

"Alright boys we each get to pick something out. What do you think Emma would want?' I ask Henry.

" when we were in new York she always talked about getting a cat, but walsh was allergic." He says and I let out a low growl. The flying demon who proposed to emma then tried to kill her in the same day.

"Can I get a baby dalmatian?" Henry asks.

"Anything you want ma'boy."

"Um are you sure this is okay with Emma?" Liam asks and I shake my head

We leav with a Dalmatian puppy named oreo blizzard (Henry) a small yellow kitten that fits in my hand TBN (for Emma) a turtle named Brennan. He's the reason that I have a family so he gets a turtle named after him (i picked it out) and a chinchilla named Lord Jim LaFleur. (Liam)

How were going to get them Home is a mystery to me. We have a pet carrier that fits oreo and the kitten, I'm carrying Brennan, and liam is carrying lord Jim..

" now moms going to kill us. Youu could also soften the blow by proposing." Wow this night was a rollercoaster from the beginning

We get them home and let them roam around and explore.

"Thank you killian I have a feeling that this is going to be alot better then the home." Liam says and I nod. He pretty much has me wrapped around his finger becuase I feel guilty.

"MOMS POOFING HER WAY HERE NOW! OPERATION NOT GET KILLED IS A GO!" Henry yells cradling Oreo blizzard.

"I'm home boys!" Emma says proofing her way in the living room.

"Hi welcome home. Thank you so much for getting me out of there " Liam says and I close my eyes.. Here it goes

"Your welcome... killian I need to talk to you." I walk over to Emma

"Liam why don't you go upstiars and show Him your room." I whisper to him and he goes upstairs

"Okay love, listen that's Liam, he's my brother he was living in something called an orphanage, and I remember how you told me about the fosters home worked, then Henry told me he was in a foster home, but he doesn't get to stay with a family just that bitch blue and a ton of other guys . so I went and got him out and now he lives with us..." Emma has a frown on her face while I talk but then gets a huge smile.

"Thats wonderful! I'm SO glad you found some family that lives in storybooke." She hugs me and then the dog barks.

"WHAT WAS THAT HENRY DANIEL MILLS?!" she yells right as Oreo comes out.

"I also got a puppy, a turtle,chinchilla, and a kitten."Henry comes out with Brennan, orea and the kitten and liam comes out with lord Jim LaFleur.

" Are you serious?" She says

" this is oreo blizzard." Henry says showing emma the dog and handing me the turtle.

"This is Brennan, he's named after my father becuase he gave me a family." Emma's eyes soften a bit. Utshe still seems angry.

"I'm Liam and this is lord Jim LaFleur."

"And the kitten is yours to name." Henry says handing the small yellow kitten to emma.

"You got me a kitten, I've wanted one since I was at least four."

She grabs it and holds it against her chest

"What's her name, Love"

"Buttercup"

"Hey killian next time. I leave you alone I only want to come back to four people and four pets got me!" She says and we all nod.

"Well welcome to the family Liam. I hope you don't mind coming to a wedding tonight?" emma syas sitting on our couch.

"Of course miss swan that would be great." Liam says respectively and emma laughs

"Kid, you can call me Emma. your family now no need to be proper." Liam smiles and sits next to her.

"Ya know I used to be in foster care without a family then I came here and found out that I have more family then I can handle. So now my family is your family. " She ruffles his hair a d goes on talking about the family tree. I go into the kitchen real quick and not to listen too their conversation or anything.

"So wait your son is your adoptive uncle!?" He says laughing

"Oh wait that's not even the best part."

Emma and Liam gained an instant bond after that. I can't help but smile every time i see then together

"Now let's get you dressed you had so many people to meet tonight." Emma says and Liam goes to Henry's room to get something to wear to he wedding.


End file.
